My mother lived to be eighty-five years old. And
during those many years of her life, she said many things. Most, if not all, of
what she said was funny, ironic and wise. They were full of descriptive,
colorful explanations that only a southerner would or could express, such as “cross
as two sticks”, “mean as a junk yard dog” or “too big for your britches.”
Whenever I went on a date, Mama would bombard me
with a whole slew of warnings and advice, all of which would be repeated each
time I left the house with an escort. They included but weren't limited to “Remember
you're a lady,” “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” and last,
but not least, “Don't chew gum in public, unless you want to look like a cow
chewing its cud.”
Whenever I began to get too involved with someone
who had limited economic prospects, Mama would say, “Remember it’s just as easy
to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one.” I wish I had listened to that
advice! She also emphasized the advantage of being a good listener. She said, “One
good way to get a whole room full of people talkin about how brilliant you are
is to get them talkin about themselves. All you have to do is say yes every now
and again, and nod your head every once and awhile. They'll think you're a
regular Einstein.”
Mama had her serious moments. More than once she
said, “You can make a heaven or hell for yourself. It's strictly up to you.”
She also said, “The world doesn't owe you anything. It's up to you to make the
most of your time on this earth.” Mama gave that advice to all of her children.
More than anything else, those words drove home the need to accept
responsibility for my actions and my life in general. I never forgot that le
son. For me, it defines what makes an individual a success or failure. There's
nothing more pathetic than a person whose life in shambles and who holds others
responsible for his or her mistakes. Mama knew that and tried to instill that
bit of wisdom in each of her offspring.
She didn't suffer fools easily nor could Mama
stand anyone who thought too much of him or herself. Which brings me to mama's
greatest bit of wisdom, “Don't think you are better than others because you
have a comfortable life. You're just lucky.” As I grew older, I realized that
with that luck came a responsibility to give back to those who weren't as lucky
as I was.
More and more often, I'm stopped in my tracks by the things I say.
Because the things I'm saying are what my mama said numerous times, so many
years ago.
